In no particular order, of no particular priority, from the miniscule to the construction work.
sign up for yoga. buy something trashy. read something trashy. sit near the opera house, in the quay, under a tree, just listening to the ipod. publish something - McSweeney’s etc. paint the desk yellow. GET THOSE BLACK RATS FROM S/B!!
My grandma came up to me today,
“Ah-Hung! Ah-Hung!”
Me - morose teenager, in the pits of HSC stress, attempting to read Albert Camus’ The Rebel, while attempting not to nod off….
“WHAT?!”
“I want to tell you something Ah-Hung”
Rolling my eyes. Glaring blearily at The Rebel…wondering if Dostoevsky’s version of SUFFERING extended to HSC suffering induced by EE2 majorworks.
“FINE. Tell me, but do it quickly!”
I kind of felt bad…but I assumed she was going to advise me to do the dishes…or take out my clothes…or something like that..
“The old folks had a saying… [insert incomprehensible chinese proverb here]…”
Explaining the proverb, she told me that sisters can tell each other anything, but husbands and wives - no.
Admittedly the first thought that came to mind was - is this her version of revenge at my Grandfather? Why are all the females in my family such a bunch of men hating feminists?
But it did kind of make sense…
My second thought was - how much i’d miss her proverbs when she went. She told me her grandma had told her the proverb…which makes it hundreds of years old…fancy that, domestic sneakiness in the old chinese empire. I guess some things are cross cultural and historical.
And then she capped of with telling me that before leaving the house i must always check i had my keys. Sound advice indeed.
Smiling in her jovial, round faced way she told me that whenever she thought of a saying or proverb she’d tell it to me.
I hope i can hear her proverbs for some time to come.
Just sometimes, Dostoevsky and imminently due EE2 majorwork can wait.
Don`t you know love is stronger than jesus?
Don`t you know love can kill anyone?
Bring it on; wars and diseases
You know that love can do you like a shotgun
— “Stronger Than Jesus” - A Camp
Hello procrastination. robbing myself, sabobotage…testing….testing…how far can i push it?
How close to the verge of disaster can i go?
Life is hardly more than a fraction of a second. Such a little time to prepare oneself for eternity!
— Paul Gauguin
be Spirited Away…
I love finding visual depictions of my dreams and fantasies. I live in dreams, I feed on imagination. This reminds me of the film, but made real.
What if we all travelled through a wardrobe? What if the world was in an everlasting Winter? Can you feel the magic all around us?
O’Hara’s poems have always struck a chord with me. The same chord that Hemingway and JD Salinger seem to - its a new contemplation of humanity, one that gets away from the stuffiness of Coleridge and Wordsworth and Shelley (too much Romanticism has traumatised me i think). I’m looking for a new study of man. One that is perhaps less hopeful and more disconnected. One that’s a bit tired, a bit battered, and perhaps a little more real.
Modern nihilism? Maybe, but I can’t say I’ve ever loved nihilism. The concept is interesting. Perhaps I shall read some Sartre, feel some existential angst there. No what I’m looking for is not nihilism - i love the world with far too much fierceness for that.
But in this modern day, with our stresses and worries, where we rush frantically into the future, i find american literature very soothing because it deals with those stresses and worries. And it changes it into gorgeous words, rich with a sort of ornate, yet slightly dilapidated sentimentality.
The sentiment always gets me.
Anyway, here are some of my favourite O’Hara poems.
Ave Maria
Mothers of America
let your kids go to the movies
get them out of the house so they won’t
know what you’re up to
it’s true that fresh air is good for the body
but what about the soul
that grows in darkness, embossed by
silvery images
and when you grow old as grow old you
must
they won’t hate you
they won’t criticize you they won’t know
they’ll be in some glamorous
country
they first saw on a Saturday afternoon or
playing hookey
they may even be grateful to you
for their first sexual experience
which only cost you a quarter
and didn’t upset the peaceful
home
they will know where candy bars come
from
and gratuitous bags of popcorn
as gratuitous as leaving the movie before
it’s over
with a pleasant stranger whose apartment
is in the Heaven on
Earth Bldg
near the Williamsburg Bridge
oh mothers you will have made
the little
tykes
so happy because if nobody does pick
them up in the movies
they won’t know the difference
and if somebody does it’ll be
sheer gravy
and they’ll have been truly entertained
either way
instead of hanging around the yard
or up in their room hating you
prematurely since you won’t have done
anything horribly mean
yet
except keeping them from life’s darker joys
it’s unforgivable the latter
so don’t blame me if you won’t take this
advice
and the family breaks up
and your children grow old and blind in
front of a TV set
seeing
movies you wouldn’t let them see when
they were young
ANIMALS
Have you forgotten what we were like then
when we were still first rate
and the day came fat with an apple in its mouth
it's no use worrying about Time
but we did have a few tricks up our sleeves
and turned some sharp corners
the whole pasture looked like our meal
we didn't need speedometers
we could manage cocktails out of ice and water
I wouldn't want to be faster
or greener than now if you were with me O you
were the best of all my days
